Wha?

okay has anyone tried using www.mysterygoogle.com/ ?

The idea is to search for something but not get the result you searched for but rather the results of the person that searched before you. It's almost a little creepy and about 90% of the results are not that interesting but do it long enough and you will find some gems. Go ahead and try it!

also Ed sent me a link to this blog:
amusing. I have a feeling I will be spending many more hours here:


mylifeisaverage.com/



Here are a few samples that were found on the site:

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see what he was up to. He replied with "about to get naked, pour hot water on myself, apply chemicals to my body to remove dead skin and create a pleasant aroma". I may never say "taking a shower" again. MLIA

Today, I asked Mystery Google how I was going to die. It came up with "your sibling is up to something" and my mom is 8 months pregnant. I'm already afraid of my unborn sister. MLIA.

Here is a nauseatingly sweet one:

Last year, I gave my boyfriend a home-made voucher-book for his birthday with things like "Good for one kiss" and "Good for one back rub", but I left the three last pages blank so he could fill them in himself. Today, he turned in the last voucher with the words "Good for one accepted proposal" on it. Nick, I love you. MLIA.

aslo: <----- intentional

Last year I was grading formal lab reports from my middle school students. One of my students, who was a terrible speller, used spell check to correct her misspellings. One of the "corrections": She had meant to write 'category,' instead, the spell checker inserted 'cat orgy.' Best misspelling ever. MLIA.

Today, I got a new kitten. As I was trying to figure out what to name him, I noticed a distinct line across his brow. Then his name dawned on me. I drew my finger across the line and whispered in my best Rafiki voice, "Simba!" This cat is destined for big things. MLIA


Eeek! So many! Happy Browsing!

www.youtube.com/watch

more commercials can be found under the search term centraal Beheer.

Thanks to Michael for posting this.


…English language teachers in the U.S. submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers throughout the land.

Here are last year's winners.....


1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag
filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Click to enlarge. Thanks to Quintinius Alsalvidorious Finale for posting
 

C

She Blinded with my science! by Thomas Dolby 

Thanks to Michael for showing me this video.  Ahh the 80's. Gotta love it. 

www.youtube.com/watch


oh and yes, I am back In Vancouver. It's good to be home.  :)

Over the Moon Performed by Eden Espinosa. She really is something to watch.  :)

There is a comment posted on one of the videos that explains a little.
I will post it here:

"Mickey Mouse = Capitalism
Yellow Rental Truck filed with Fertilizer and Fuel Oil - Well, it's a friggin bomb.
Leap of faith/ Jumping over the moon - Returning to the simpler joys of childhood.
Milk - Natural
Diet Coke - Processed and generally nasty
Cows - Protesting not being just one of the herd.
I think Cyberland and Benny are obvious.
It's a hell of a protest actually. And it's got some great symbolism in it."

-- Open Box Designs







Compare it with Idina Menzel's performance. Different...

 I did not write this article. I just wish to expose it. 

No.10 - Love/Hate
Is there a garden around? Because these words have been watered down to the point of no return. And it’s all because people have been slowly accepting them as reasonable alternatives to describe fondness (or lack thereof). Love and hate both involved descriptions of serious passion or emotion at one time; now they’re just used as slang-fodder for anything to make a poetic statement. Let’s restore the prestige of these once-great expressions and lay off their usage, say, 95% of the time. That ought to help.

No.9 - Literally
Literally is another word that has been misconstrued into a bastardized form. When the exact reason to use the word is to express a non-exaggeration or a realistic degree of accuracy, why do people do the exact opposite? Literally is now used as a general intensive, and its very meaning has become lost and meaningless. Literally is meant to only be used when describing something verbatim, or for a correct technical explanation. It is not a synonym for figuratively or virtually. Let’s keep it as such.

No.8 - Ridiculous
The only thing ridiculous about this overused word is the number of times it’s used in everyday speak. Ridiculous means laughable, deserving of ridicule or something just downright preposterous. Now, while people tend to get the meaning (vaguely) correct for this one, four-syllable words like this are best saved for situations where things truly are absurd -- if your dog ate your homework, that’s ridiculous because it’s almost worthy of a laugh. There are better words to use than this tongue twister and no, “ri-donk-ulous” is not one of them.

No.7 - Awesome
Are we stuck in the '80s? Can someone please explain why this expression is so commonly used as slang rather than as a proper adjective? Awesome can be lumped into the same cheese club with other un-cool terms such as radical, cowabunga and gnarly.

Awesome is supposed to be used to express a show of force or majesty. When your friend comes back with a six-pack of beer, responding with this reprehensible utterance just doesn’t match up to the awe of a powerful tornado or when viewing one of the top 10 American landmarks. Nice try, though.

No.6 - Whatever
Here’s the problem with the word whatever -- depending on the tone you use, it’s used by a variety of hipsters looking to disagree. Guys use it to downplay a video game defeat or a sports loss. Girlfriends use it angrily to stone their boyfriend’s opinion. And, when combined with a preamble such as like (which is also on this list of most overused words), it’s used by pink-purse-toting glamour girls to display surprise or enjoyment. Whatever the context (and that’s a proper use of the term), it is overused and ruining otherwise meaningful conversation.

No.5 - Bitch
It was only a matter of time before one of English’s finest derogatory terms became banter for the common man. And all it took was a few malicious hijackings to make this one of the most overused words out there. Normally used to describe a female canine, it’s evolved as an insult to women in contempt, an anchor lyric in hip-hop culture or as ubiquitous slang for those lower in the prison pecking order. This is in addition to other uses such as bitch slap, son of a bitch, bitching, and riding bitch. Our evolution as a species continues at a jaw-dropping pace.

No.4 - Seriously
Another word that is used for more emphasis than most things deserve is the almost-a-question-but-more-of-a-statement seriously. It’s usually used in the manner of disbelief with a sarcastic tone when used as a question, or as an emphasis for a thought or future action. Either way, the word has become overused by the average conversationalist, and now verges on overkill as teenager or hipster jargon. And, when combined with other language fillers (such as dude or like), any actual seriousness this word used to offer is completely thrown out the window.

No.3 - Gay
Gay lost its meaning a long time ago in mainstream conversation, right around when the Village People began thrusting suggestively in colorful unison. Of course, that’s just one of many examples, but the word gay was originally meant to be jovial or in good spirits and, as we all know, now refers to homosexuality and its associated culture. All was good for a time, but the word was kidnapped, hog-tied and beaten down by pop culture to make reference to anything that was stupid, unfortunate or even an attempt to buff up one’s own masculinity (or hide insecurities -- you decide). Gay has lost its way.

No.2 - Nice
Here’s another bit of verbal overkill that has unfortunately lost its purpose. This once-friendly word has now been turned into a fallback excuse to tell people you’re not interested in their conversation. A lot of people who can’t listen, or refuse to listen, will drop this after someone tells a story, gives an anecdote or makes a comment. “Nice” they’ll respond, as in “OK, I have nothing to say to that.” The worst part is when the listener uses it as a means to end the conversation or to indirectly suggest an end to the current conversation. For this reason, it’s become a form of excuse, and has now fallen into the realm of overused words -- and is a compliment no more.

No.1 - Like
How this word is still used as a standard in the English language is astounding. People have been using the word like so liberally for the last 15 years that it’s become so commonplace no one even knows when they actually say it. It’s a sixth sense for scores of slang-tongued hipsters.

Originally used as an adjective to describe comparison, its slow and painful conversion to an interjection is now dominating conversations for any Gen X- or Y-er that grew up with two-star-rated (or less) dumb blonde movies. The only saving grace for this word is that when someone uses it too much, people will have no problem calling you out on it and exposing the below-average nature of this verbal ear sore.

Honorable mention

LOL
“Laughing out loud” or “lots of laughs” is probably the most popular acronym used by web-savvy keyboard warriors when instant messaging or chatting with friends online. Unfortunately, much like other viral software code, this short-form description has spiraled out of control as l33t speak on the internet (the actual term for internet “talk”). Now you can’t browse a web page or a blog without LOL being used somewhere, and thus aggravating proponents of proper e-English worldwide.


This article can be found on the website: http://ca.askmen.com/top_10/entertainment/top-10-most-overused-words_10.html

 How have I not seen this before? I suppose I might have seen it but I don't remember.. The quality is not the best but I thoroughly enjoyed it nonetheless.


www.youtube.com/watch

 
I was cruising www.theonering.net/torwp/ and found this lovely bit of awesome.

www.reclaimingtheblade.com/




“Reclaiming the Blade” is a 90-minute documentary about Western and Eastern swords and swordsmanship, as well as the history behind the modern interpretation thereof. It is an attempt to dispel many of the common misrepresentations and myths about the medieval sword, using insights from experts such as John Clements of ARMA and Hank Reinhardt of Museum Replicas, and actors involved in sword related movies such as Viggo Mortensen (“Alatriste” and “Lord of the Rings”). In addition, the swords for this movie are provided by Albion Swords of Wisconsin.. "


Visit the official website for more information:

www.reclaimingtheblade.com/main/


Also I was sent these by a friend. One is awful and the other, incredibly sweet.

xkcd.com/586/



and


xkcd.com/572/

 

Tribute to "Jaywalking".  Jay Leno is leaving the night show.
Here is the video version of Michael's  most recent post if any you are up for a laugh.
Hilarious.

www.youtube.com/watch

enjoy.

 OK so apparently today is Limmerick day so I think I should contribute one. It's my favourite. My dad and I have been reciting this  "double limmerick" from as far back as I can remember. It holds a lot of sentimental value,


Moonshine

  There was a young lady of Rheims, 
  There was an old poet of Gizeh;
He rhymed on the deepest and sweetest of themes,
  She scorned all his efforts to please her:
     
            And he sighed,  '  Ah, I see,
            She and sense won't agree. '

So he scribbled her moonshine, mere moonshine, 
and she,
With jubilant screams, packed her trunk up in 
  Rheims,
Cried aloud,  ' I am coming, O Bard of my dreams! '
  And was clasped to his bosom in Gizeh.


                                        WALTER DE LA MARE 

 
Thanks to Michael for directing me to this:

 The Fifth  element was on TV this morning and I have not seen this movie since I was about 13... I swam one of my first ever synchro routines to the " Diva Dance" which I loved at the time and still do after  revisiting it.  I appreciate it a lot more now and it sounds considerably better when I'm not listening from under water. Hehe.

Anyways! Here is the scene from the movie and following is another clip of a woman doing a stellar job of the same aria.. or at least the last minute or two (Techno part.)

Enjoy. I hope you like it as much as I do.


Diva Dance  sung by Albanian soprano Inva Mulla Tchako :


and Laura!

C,E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, " Sorry, we don't serve minors." So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat.

An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but realizes in the nick of time, that he is not the dominant character in this story and suspends his efforts.

D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying,"Excuse me. I will just be a second." Then an A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.

Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims, "Get out now. You are the seventh minor I've found in the bar tonight!"


The E-flat, proud of his lowered status, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes.

The bartender says," You are looking sharp tonight, come on in! Now, this could be a major development." That proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off all his embellishments and stands there au natural.

Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
He's brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

 It seems we all want to post this video!  but that's only because it's so crucial that we share it with the world!
many thanks to Ed for showing me this. 


EPIC  :D

 I did not find this. My friend chloe packer did and it's on facebook but I felt the need to share it with you all so I'm posting it here.


A clipping from a newspaper (I admit I do not know which one).

"When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero gravity as the ink wouldn't flow down to the writing surface. In order to solve the problem, they hired Andersen Consulting (Accenture today). It took them one decade and 12 millions dollars. They developed a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, under water, on practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezint to over 300 degrees C. The Russians used a pencil..."

  I had a lovely suprise today. Michael took me to the Capilano suspension bridge. This was my first time there and after what seemed like hours on a stuffy, cramped bus (remedied by home-made fudge), we arrived at the Capilano Canyon. The sheer size of this park was breath-taking. One would not think it would be so huge if you looked at it from the road.

 I arrived at this outdoor museum really not knowing what to expect. Only after a few short minutes was a walking across a 450 ft. bridge gently rocking back and forth with the breeze.  This was only a fraction of what was yet to be explored of this twenty seven acre park. We reached the end where we came to a education centre of sorts complete with a cafe and seating under the monsterous douglas firs. We continued on among board walks overlooking the waterfalls and had an encounter with a rather talkative asian woman from california.  It was more excersise than I planned on having but seeing the sights and being in and amongst nature and having my glasses and sweetie there with me made it all worth while. Moving right along, we entered a portion of the of the park that had been added recently called "treetops adventure" . This portion offered a squirrels eye view of the forest floor some 100 feet down below us. Giant douglas firs linked the seven miniature suspension bridges and the view from various suspended platforms were directly out of " Myst"  ( a favourite computer game of mine).   We had covered almost everything by this point, excluding the gift shops and cafe that we lightly passed through. We took our time to reach the exit and as breathtaking as the experience was, the wind was growing colder and my feet were beginning to hurt. We made our way back to the entrance, satisfied.  I certainly plan on going back there.  who wants to join me?

Here is the website if you are interested or want more information:

www.capbridge.com/index.html